here we are sitting around the table with nothing to talk about but hear me out our behavior is that we act like strangers with half a mind to shout get me out see shit my mind out heavy language is drought and words hold no substance with your dehydrated presence so here we are acting like a puzzle with nothing taking shape and image frayed so just wear the harness to keep you muzzled if you've got nothing good to say or create learn get in touch with your concerns to feel something lost is the meaning exhausted and without feeling?

its such a rainy day no one wants to come out and play so i wait, wait, wait while my mind, tries to escape i sit and watch the rain the water runs down the window pane as i relate i'lll cloud these sorry eyes grey am i the architect of this mind? i just wanted a simple life but now i've gone and hidden myself inside cause inside is just a home where my fear and secrets grow but if i put it in a bright tone i doubt you'll even know i hate myself again i want to feel something new i'm tired of fighting this just to get myself through no one understands this feeling in the way you do i hate myself again for once i speak the truth i hate myself again this time i know i'm through

feel my distaste and black out the sun cause you've got nothing here that i could want

a wicked man born into a strange land a fragile heart broken and lost from the start cant play his part lost the words wandering in the dark wont hear his sound cause the fury of the world beat him down thought he was lost in place where feeling gets forgot fell to his knees waiting to surrender with ease then came a light cutting through the darkness like a knife his only wish the most pure and natural fix

i set up an empty bed just to sleep by my lonesome again and as i play over what we said i'm really just wishing you were here to talk to instead you sang my golden slumber i slept one night dreaming in wonder i cant picture it as any other so slip in under the comfort of the covers i cant promise you ill live forever i cant tell you ill never say never but what i do know is i could never let you go i've never known the right things to say i guess its not one of my best traits but all the times you cry i could help when you're sick ill make sure you get well so through all the faces we spin ill never turn around and give in cause when you find something you love you got to hold on

my lovers lost i cant go on its a sick time now i am lost i cant go on i've lost all life

dreaming charm i guess i really touched that place i guess i really got away from everything at all silver spoon fed starving artist get your taste and slip into the deepest waste you're really sinking down no just let me go back i swear i wont complain i just wanna be free of this pain blisters for eyes i'm turning red i have hives i want to be nurtured again as i'm itching all over i caress the shower stream its the closest thing i have to love water soothes my aches i haven't been to bed in days covered in sperm i lay unable to dream unable to awake the power of doubt persuades you all i need is a little help is it too much to ask not to spend just one night alone? a random passing why isolating yourself? i want to meet a beautiful sweet salute you who are these permeable people? and why does this mean if anything at all?

i'm a real freak like you wouldn't even know i used to spend my time all alone is it fair i've got to do this all on my own? it started back when i was young dex, a really fucked up little son always seeking the shade from the sun all the playmates wouldn't get near and soon depravity lead to fears alone in self doubt, this is what i want you to hear a new realization seen i'm what i thought id never be it takes a long time to unfold and see you're a creep i've burrowed my habits deep in my hole i've built this monster thick in my skull and now i've forgot the meaning of control so am i the one who's wrong? have i lost the thoughts i thought were helping me all along is all rational thought gone? i'm shaking now, where have i fallen to the hole, it just grew and grew i thought i knew the bottom, what have i gotten into? theres no waking up from this despair everything i thought i wanted turned nightmare and i'm the one, i'm the one who put it there i am so confused and lost in all the places i have been i've been away for so long i forgot to let myself in as i nurse my vices deep they administer the sting but i did it to myself, i am the pain they bring i am nothing that nobody wants i am just what i asked for i've built myself this home its so much uglier than before is this is really what i am then i guess i am a fool for believing i could become something new what is plain and simple? as if no one was listening i thought i saw the picture and knew which parts were missing when you hurt yourself it hurts me just as much but there are certain things that i just cant save you from i am not this life but i could play a part why don't you sleep on it instead of sleeping it off

ive been in love before it doesn't change anything about me and i still end up ruining it in the end and its not to say i don't want to love and be happy i envy people who can but even if i catch a glimpse of it when i see my reflection in my lovers eye i still push it away i don't know what it is but you don't want to try to show me life because i will bring yours down you cant save me like in your fantasies im unfixable just because i'm shy doesn't mean i'm a nice person i'm shy because i don't think you'll like me you don't really know me i don't think anyone truly does because its so easy to keep it all to yourself no one really cares sometimes i feel like talking its rare but nothing really makes a difference or matters we pretend like they do so that we can have purpose but its only to make ourselves feel worth there are no rules there is no precedent there is no knowledge if i die today, nothing changes and i'm constantly entertaining the idea of death like being on a date with a woman you're not sure you want to fuck but you're there anyway to keep your investments secure not sure of much really, maybe you'll just be friends but either way you like whatever feeling you're getting out of it the only problem is that you cant control when it comes you're not always asking and willing, sometimes it becomes a curse that you have to playfully manage, or sever off or sometimes you just want to give in, and say fuck it all its hard to keep death happy with the progress of your life but without the sun there is no rain

i can feel alive i have feeling inside i will prove in time

i wont ever let it in and i cant get anything out as the borders wear thin i find im praying to myself if only i could let it go and it collapses by itself but ive got this skin it holds everything in so this rain piles up and it makes the ocean swell as im stuck holding thoughts i just wish i could expel

this place is like an ocean vast and wide and untamed somewhere you can drown and full of empty weight its darkest in the deepest places the best way to hide the truth but i cant hold my breath long enough to get through so ill swim deeper down i feel the pressure press but it doesn't matter now i'm just lost in this mess and the tide came in and carried it away and the tide came in and lead my thoughts astray and the tide came in and carried it away and the tide came in i had lost it anyway i'm losing my thoughts to something i am not brain composed of scraps heaven got a good laugh i feel so alone i never thought it'd show wheres all the thoughts i missed i think i'm swimming in it

you can see it in my eyes you can read it on my mind yes, you know i can't lie yes, i'm having a hard time

you are my guide i am what you decide our bodys only half of it our second half is split so stretch my skin and take me in i will subside just promise to make me alive i will keep in line life as a parasite inside my own mind i am infecting all the time no one has to know but i cant do this all alone my paracusia i hear you ringing for me whisper in my ear tell me why i'm here my hallucination i see you living for me show me my life thats been hidden from my sight

i feel free from your grasp on me silence the noise of your minds voice you're always smiling now

how the earth does spin all the feelings from within through your skin through your skin just lean back against the wind the woods are alive the sun with glorious light as i find as i find peace of mind

what is in life, if we waste it all what is the world, if we erase it all where would have light, if we live in dark where is the beat, if you've lost the heart and everything just is

my dear friend its just a passing phase like you saw a ghost you couldn't look away waiting for the end is such an anxious place with infinities and you're keeping pace and you taught me how things can be happy in the end