i'm a real freak like you wouldn't even know
i used to spend my time all alone
is it fair i've got to do this all on my own?

it started back when i was young
dex, a really fucked up little son
always seeking the shade from the sun

all the playmates wouldn't get near
and soon depravity lead to fears
alone in self doubt, this is what i want you to hear

a new realization seen
i'm what i thought id never be
it takes a long time to unfold and see you're a creep

i've burrowed my habits deep in my hole
i've built this monster thick in my skull
and now i've forgot the meaning of control

so am i the one who's wrong?
have i lost the thoughts i thought were helping me all along
is all rational thought gone?

i'm shaking now, where have i fallen to
the hole, it just grew and grew
i thought i knew the bottom, what have i gotten into?

theres no waking up from this despair
everything i thought i wanted turned nightmare
and i'm the one, i'm the one who put it there

i am so confused and lost in
all the places i have been
i've been away for so long i forgot to let myself in

as i nurse my vices deep
they administer the sting
but i did it to myself, i am the pain they bring

i am nothing that nobody wants
i am just what i asked for
i've built myself this home
its so much uglier than before

is this is really what i am
then i guess i am a fool
for believing
i could become something new

what is plain and simple?
as if no one was listening
i thought i saw the picture
and knew which parts were missing

when you hurt yourself
it hurts me just as much
but there are certain things that
i just cant save you from

i am not this life
but i could play a part
why don't you sleep on it
instead of sleeping it off